The Dry Cleaner Myth

Lately, I’ve been posting some pretty weird but hopefully fun links, like the electric soda bottle and a funny one about “the Bodega,” which can still be found directly below. Another one that I’ll write about today in order to stave off actual “work” is the myth of dry cleaning. Fall is in full bloom and I recently took out my iconoclastic “orange lumberjack wool coat,” which I sport on both the back cover of the new book and as my facebook pic. It’s been in the closet for about 8 months and I finally felt the time was right to bring it out. To quote Dane Cook, “It smelled like it was dipped in a vat of piss.” Truth be told, I’ve never washed the thing. I bought it at a Salvation Army about two years ago, but the tag said “Dry Clean Only”. Being the Cheap Bastard I am, I never dry cleaned it. It started to make me feel icky a while ago, but I caved after I came home a week ago feeling like I was covered in slugs. I’m a pretty hygenic guy when it comes down to it–I do laundry once a week and generally keep a tight ship. But Dry cleaning is expensive.
That’s why I decided to hand wash it.
I found a bottle of “wool cleaner” below my sink and gave it the washing of a lifetime. For an investment of nada, or what would probably be $2 at the grocery store, I didn’t have to wait a week for dry cleaning and spend 10X the amount. It took two days to dry, as wool should, and it felt like a brand new coat!
So I know this is a gross story, but it ends happily ever after, with me in fresh threads and dirty no more.
Hopefully you can apply this story as fits in your life.
Keep Fresh, Keep Clean.
Johnny

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